It was a beautiful Sunday in spring.
The day started out well enough, there was hot coffee and sunshine. If you haven't looked outside lately though, there's this
I need a shirt that says "too many smells"
Let's just say there are many 'triggers' for my asthma this time of year. Only discovered less than three years ago I have asthma, since then it's been a learning curve. What sets me off, what doesn't, how many times I can wheeze before I get dizzy? I travel with my trusty rescue inhaler 24/7. I have one particular bad trigger.. perfume. Not your average light scent lilting through the room smell but those "grandmother-with-the-deep-red-lipstick, Jungle Gardenia kind of smells" ... which makes me think, what if a burglar broke in doused in heavy perfume? I would be completely powerless. Not pertinent to the story but important to note.
Let's just say there are many 'triggers' for my asthma this time of year. Only discovered less than three years ago I have asthma, since then it's been a learning curve. What sets me off, what doesn't, how many times I can wheeze before I get dizzy? I travel with my trusty rescue inhaler 24/7. I have one particular bad trigger.. perfume. Not your average light scent lilting through the room smell but those "grandmother-with-the-deep-red-lipstick, Jungle Gardenia kind of smells" ... which makes me think, what if a burglar broke in doused in heavy perfume? I would be completely powerless. Not pertinent to the story but important to note.
Sunday morning, we walk in and say hello to friends as we make our way to the fourth row from the back [not the very back row or the second.. I'm a progressive Baptist] We settle in, purse under my feet. I locate two ink pens in my purse (before he has the chance to ask for one) because I'm nothing if not efficient. Reading glasses at the ready and Bible open in the chair beside me. I decide it's all correctly arranged and notice my little setup could probably be in Southern Living magazine.. all I need is a small vase of flowers and a couple throw pillows.
Just as I get it all as I like it, my senses alert me to something peculiar.. my right eye is burning... Oh no. My throat gets that familiar itchy feeling, my chest tightens.. The music progresses and I'm trying my best to get to a place of personal worship but it's really hard when you feel like you just walked into a carpet warehouse. All that new carpet burning your throat, your eyes begin to water.. must. have. fresh. air. I begin to cough.. [God love her] that one lady, ALWAYS cuts her eyes at me like "can't you be still & quiet?" I silently think, she's probably the one wearing the napalm.
Quietly, I tell my husband, "I have to move" and he gives me that look "really?" [he begins fanning me as if I'm overheated] "I'm choking here, Cowboy. I don't think fanning is the answer.
I gather my goods and after making a couple glances to see who is close.
Oops, can't sit by her, God love her. Nope, her either-I wasn't aware they still made Aqua net.) I spot two seats back and to the left. Husband follows, looking irritated, as if it's my fault I can't breath?! We settle in and I take a deep breath. He looks at me waiting for the approval cue. Yes, we can stay. I smell nothing, absolutely nothing. Wait. . . did I put on deodorant this morning? I should at least be able to smell my own "Sporty scent" deodorant, right? I turn to my husband,
Psstt... do I smell?
What? I don't smell anything, don't tell me we have to move again. No no, do I smell bad?
Why would you smell bad?
Oh, never mind.
I have doused my eyes thoroughly with eye drops, I'm beginning to perspire, I hit my inhaler and the burning has subsided a bit. I'm sure no one can tell I'm having an issue this morning.
The Pastor has begun his sermon as a young couple slip in late trying not to be noticed, they take their seats a couple rows behind us. Before long, "too many smells" begin to permeate the space around me like a cloud. For the love of all that's good, it's happening again.
By the time we make it to the car, I have a pounding headache, I'm wheezing like I've climbed Mount Everest and I'm getting stuffy. I think maybe people think I'm not friendly but I'm simply escaping the smells. I will spend the afternoon with a massive headache, stuffy nose, wheezing and generally a doctor appointment the next day.
I hit the rescue inhaler a couple times more and turn the car air on full blast at my face, waiting for the napalm smell to disappear from my clothing. Let me say, it's not those precious people I go to church with, it's me. I'm the faulty one. I don't know why? I played in the dirt as a child, had my vaccinations and ate most of my vegetables. It is part of my life now.
As we back out of our parking spot without missing a beat, this man who can't remember what he ate for breakfast says, I didn't know they still made Aqua net.
By the time we make it to the car, I have a pounding headache, I'm wheezing like I've climbed Mount Everest and I'm getting stuffy. I think maybe people think I'm not friendly but I'm simply escaping the smells. I will spend the afternoon with a massive headache, stuffy nose, wheezing and generally a doctor appointment the next day.
I hit the rescue inhaler a couple times more and turn the car air on full blast at my face, waiting for the napalm smell to disappear from my clothing. Let me say, it's not those precious people I go to church with, it's me. I'm the faulty one. I don't know why? I played in the dirt as a child, had my vaccinations and ate most of my vegetables. It is part of my life now.
As we back out of our parking spot without missing a beat, this man who can't remember what he ate for breakfast says, I didn't know they still made Aqua net.
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