Friday, December 26, 2025

She was usually right.

 December 21st, 2025.

Today would be the day. She would have called me by now and after we chatted a minute or two, she would remind me today is the shortest day of the year. After today they begin getting longer. You won't really notice it before about mid-January. She would have called each of her children on this morning. She hated dark, loved the sunshine. 

Every morning she woke at home, she walked through the house opening curtains to let the sun in. When you were sick, she opened the curtains around you, "this will help your feelings", she would say. 
She was right. It makes sense that in her state of dementia, she was a "sundowner". She began to get agitated and nervous. We tried to counter that feeling with every light in the house on as a distraction. Sometime it worked, sometime not. 

I love this photo I snapped on my phone after Don finished the fireplace project. The sun streaming in from the back. 
It is no wonder I love the sunshine so much. I do the same thing with the curtains, I do not close them until dark. I don't know what it is but it feels like my soul doesn't breathe until the sun is streaming in around me. I miss those days when the phone rang, my mother on the other end of the line "why don't we run to Bright Star and have lunch?" After I minute or two it became apparent despite all I needed to do that day, I was going to lunch with my mama. It was futile to try and reason about all my duties for the day. All those things will wait, she would say. She was right again. The clothes waited, the messy closet waited, so did the dishwasher. Just waiting until I returned. I'm so glad I listened and spent that time with her.  Mama was a happy person. Usually smiling, and in a good mood but on those dreary days, she needed help. She would call and simply say, "I have the mulle grubs, where we going?"

An hour or two with her daughter usually did it. (although, it probably would have been the same with one of the boys) Most often I got to be the one. 

The older I get the more things I find, she was right about. Taking the time to sift the flour three times in the pound cake, makes it high and light. She was right. Sometime, just listening and not arguing your point when in a disagreement with a loved one- just listen, don't get offended so easily. "Hush, you may learn something and you will definitely defuse the anger aimed at you." 
From the time I was a child, not everyone is going to like you, and that's perfectly okay. She was right and it is okay. 

I miss her at Christmas more than any other time, I think. Our childhood home at Christmas always smelled of something fabulous. Usually a German Chocolate Cake was made and she hustled to make everything wonderful for her children, for all the people she loved. I guess it's her joy I miss the most. Joy in her salvation, she never worried about her life ending. Joy in the choices she made along the way, she trusted and lived in her decisions. Joy in her station in life, never regretting where she came from or why they had so little. She was not perfect as none of us are but she was amazing and kind, loving and true. You could trust her with your life. 
This time of year, she wanted all her people around her. If she had a busy day, she would say, "dinner is just beans, cornbread and slaw, but I need you here with me." She only wanted her people around her to be happy. She was right. It's all that matters. 

So, today we rest and renew. We were blessed with time with family and friends over the last few days. I'll be watching & waiting for the longer sunshine days. Like my mother I feel it to my soul.