I Miss Those Days

 

I miss those days when they were little and a play telephone made them happy for weeks. She packed it in her bag with her stuffed animals when she went to her granny or mamaws house, where she could reach me.  
I miss those days when I walked out in the cold and picked up some of the carrot and raisins we had left for reindeer, because they always checked. I actually miss the Tinker Toys in the floor. 
I miss those years he got little cars and "men" from his latest phase. (When school started back I had to pat him down because he stuffed them in his pants to take to school.) Skinny little boy w/bulges all around his body, as if I could not see them. I had to hold a straight face until he got in the door at school. 

I miss those days when we baked on Christmas Eve until we were punchy. They were all still at home and it was wonderful, we laughed & laughed. I would announce we were also making "nougat" and they all groaned! It always amused me. (my almond nougat recipe made 125 pieces (or more) and they had to be individually wrapped) They hated wrapping it but they didn't mind eating it.

I miss those days when they fought with the cousins over who would have their granny spend the night. She acted like she didn't care- but she loved them fawning over her. She always read to them on Christmas and watched every Christmas cartoon they wanted to watch, played games and she made over whatever they had made or colored for her. I miss the laughter coming from their rooms when she was there.

I miss the little handmade gifts my children had for me. Precious little treasures they created because they had no money. I still have many of them tucked away safely. They are dated and named by who made them, for my grands one day to see. I hope my children see them again and remember. Maybe we weren't perfect parents but we tried our hardest. I hope they remember that. Especially because they will make mistakes too and it's important to know you put forth your best effort.

I miss those days when they took money to "santa shop" and I prayed they shopped for someone else and not themselves. In they came w/a single pencil or paperback book for themselves and gifts for others. Success! Thank you Lord, they do have caring hearts for others.

I miss those days, walking in the back door at mama and daddys house and smelling all the fabulous food she toiled over. She always had a favorite dish for each of us. I miss the fire in the fireplace my daddy built. (Sometime he built a fire and we had to open the windows because it was so warm but daddy thought everyone should have a fire burning on Christmas.) I miss those days when we made it home in the evening, lit the tree and listened to the low din of their day, as they laughed and played w/their gifts. Those days are hard, sometime chaotic and always needed to be followed by about ten hours of sleep. But they were the best days ever. If you are there I hope you can realize how fleeting they are and soak up every minute.

I pray this year, you have the Christmas day you need. It may not be perfect, everyone can't be there but relax, they won't remember whether it was perfect or not. You can visit with them another day and on that day, it will also feel special. See your old people today, it's important. I miss those days with all our family here, there are seats no longer taken. The children are at their own homes and we will see them all over the next few days but most of all, it's the celebrating of Jesus. It hasn't changed, that is our constant. Oh, what a gift.

Broken but still useful

 

I pulled this mixing cup from the kiln yesterday. My first thought was disappointment. The glaze ran and it's stuck to the "cookie" I used to protect my shelf.  I will figure out the why another day. The cookie did it's job though, it kept a glaze mess from my shelf. Now, how to get it off without destroying it. . . This is requiring thought as well. I have several options and while I am tempted to simply take my hammer to it and begin chipping away, I think that would certainly destroy my hard work. 

I say this all the time but there are so many parallels to pottery and your faith life. 

We make a plan, carefully thought out and execute the plan but often times life (as in pottery), it doesn't work out as we planned. Where was God in the plan? Did I consider or pray on the outcome before I made it? Was I listening for his guidance?

To some it may seem trivial or even ridiculous but to a Christ follower and believer, we have the opportunity to choose each day whether to go out on our own (free will in play) or seek guidance and trust in what or how the Lord directs us. 

I find I always think of my daddy when I create pottery. Because he always said, "we do the best we can at the time with the information we have, baby. When we know better, we do better." He fully believed that and I am thankful for the lesson. Because it allows me to be satisfied with the end result, to rest in my decisions.  Daddy never doubted his prayed over, thought-out decisions. He seldom did things haphazard and without giving them great thought. Yet, if something went wrong, he tried to teach us to learn from it as he did. That, in and of itself is a gift. 

We also have to consider, sometime we can do everything right and things still do not turn out like we would want or desire. That's just life. Life is not always fair. There are still untimely deaths, still cancer, still pain, sorrow and disappointment. Sometime life is plain hard. 

Even after several protocol based attempts to remove the cup, it failed. It broke where I had hoped it would not. Isn't that just like life?  

                                   

How do I begin to analyze what went wrong? Well, I'm getting older and that means there is a smidge of wisdom, some experience always helps. My ability (sometime in question, if I'm honest) and there may even have been a momentary urge again to just toss it in the trash. Back to wisdom- when I glazed this piece, I followed the same protocol from wedging the clay to the final product. Did I get in a hurry? Did I count my coats of glaze like I usually do? Maybe I added and extra coat by mistake. Possibly it was too close to a heating element. Clearly, something did not go as planned. 

Look in the cup, what do you see? 

Pieces chipped away on the bottom outside but it sill holds water, it still stands straight up. I can use it. It may simply hold brushes or be my wet sponge pot by my pottery wheel. It's all in how you look at it, just as daddy said.

I know this- God still uses us in our broken state. In Acts 9, on the road to Damascus we see an example of this with Saul. God cleans us up and clothes us in righteousness, gives us insight and laser focus. He sets our feet on the right path. We simply must be willing to follow in obedience.

We each have a choice, every day. Will we choose to listen and be obedient even when we feel beaten down and broken? The last few years have been hard, struggling with health, new diagnoses, watching others struggle with life problems, but we know we are not alone.  I used to sit in the embrace of my earthly fathers shoulders. He was strong, unwavering and stood behind me no matter what was ahead. How much more does our heavenly father love us and stand at the ready to protect and guide. 

We simply have to give up our will and lean into his.