Yesterday was the 38 year we have lived without daddy. I think so often of his laughter and the lessons he taught, of him dancing in the living room with me in his arms, while he sang "Turkey in the Straw." ...I still see his hands, roughened by time, in mine while we tromped in the woods for hours, while he told me of stories from his boyhood. His gentle smile but strong belief that we should be forever grateful for the life we enjoyed. [This picture- what would be only months before his passing. He and Danielle on Sunday morning before her 1st birthday] It was mutual adoration.
Today would have been mama's 91'st birthday, she's been gone almost 4 years. It seems like a lifetime, until I make her sour cream pound cake- then I feel her very close. When I watch my daughter throw her head back and laugh out loud, I see my mother again.
I still keep her favorite pair of slacks in my closet. I bury my face in the leg of them on occasion. How can they still have her scent on them? They've been washed several times to remove the dust, yet they still smell like her? [These three would get to her as often as they could. Cari in her arms, Danielle on the left, Crandy on the right.]
Then, this. While reading my devotion this morning about the building of the tabernacle and the furnishings, the mercy seat of God, I see.
"God is a masterful designer. Details are important to Him. (I am important to Him) He is never random or haphazard. And just like the tabernacle furnishings, every detail of your life (my life) has a divine design."
Ahhh... I see what you did there, Lord. Why is it so hard for people to believe we have a intentional, adoring God?
The lamp stand was about seventy-five pounds of pure gold and sculpted with almond blossoms. Details. It was used by the priests to see as they served. It also points to Jesus. He is the light of the world. He dispels the darkness. God GAVE me this. Today, when I am close to tears, longing to remember more. Some will think it is coincidence but nothing is coincidence with God. Nothing.
Why do we fight
so hard against? Why is it so hard to believe He desires our closeness? Why is it so hard to believe He wants to cradle us in His arms? Why is it so hard to believe He wants us to place our trust in Him, that he has all the details worked out? Wow.
Lord, thank you, oh thank YOU. Help me to slow down today and see the details, remember how precious both mama and daddy were, relish the memories, look forward to the day I will see them again. Teach me to love more and forgive quickly. Most of all, thank you for giving so freely, Your son -my Savior and allowing me the comfort of your peace. Thank you Father for the details AND that I am yours.
Amen.
